Techie Talk

Robert Half Technology, a California-based staffing company that provides information technology professionals, asked 1,400 CIOs nationwide for the most unusual queries their help desks/technical support team had received.

Their responses included:

* “Why isn’t my wireless mouse connected to the computer?”
* “My laptop was run over by a truck. What should I do?”
* “Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?”
* “How do I read my e-mail?”
* “My computer is telling me to press any key to continue. Where is the ‘any’ key?”
* “Can you reset the Internet for me?”
* “There are animal crackers in my CD-ROM drive.”
* “Can you build me a robot?”

Some end users called to report problems with mice — not the electronic kind — and other pests. To wit:

* “Can you get the mice out of the ceiling?”
* “A server went down, and I found a lizard had crawled into it and died.”
* “A skunk ate my cable.”

Other requests signal more trouble than just a technical glitch. Here are some examples:

* “How can I block e-mail from my manager?”
* “Can I open the bank safe using my computer?”
* “Can you install cable TV on my PC?”
* “Can you order joysticks so that we can play video games?”
* “I’d like to stop receiving e-mail on Fridays.”

Help desk professionals are known for lending a hand, but these end users took the concept too far:

* “Can you come and install my car stereo?”
* “Where can I locate dry ice?”
* “I’d like wireless computer access in my motor home.”
* “Can you fix my typewriter?”
* “How long does it take to bake a potato in a microwave?”
* “My daughter is locked in the bathroom, can you pick the lock?”
* “Can you tell me the weather forecast for next year?”
* “The elevator is broken.”
* “How do I wire a robotic turkey?”
* “Where can I get software to track UFOs?”
* “Can you repair my motorbike?”

Katherine Spencer Lee, the executive director of Robert Half Technology, said in the Press Release,
“These unusual requests highlight the need for technical support personnel to also demonstrate patience, empathy and a sense of humor,”

Be honest now, how many of you think that slot that pops out of the computer, (otherwise known as a CD Drive), is a nice convenience to hold your coffee cup.